new year

As I sit here in my "bum" clothes, my favorite pink sweat bottoms and my favorite Disney sweatshirt that is 2 sizes too big, I find myself not being able to go to sleep.
That happens alot, so I tend to write in my journal. But tonight I wanted to try this.
I found myself back in my bedroom flipping channels. . ER isn't on. . . nothing but ballgames and cheesy B movies like Rocky 4 and Van Wilder. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Van Wilder, Ryan Reynolds is hot, but this is NOT how I want my new year to start out.
I find myself thinking about what is REALLY important to me today. . . not my unicorn collection. . not the dirty dishes in the sink. . not the laundry that didn't get washed 'cuz Mema told me not to. . .so what IS important to me today?
Pictures. I want to get my pictures back up on the walls. . .I want to get them in scrapbooks so my children can look at them, enjoy them, know who these important people are in my life and the funny stories that go along with them.
Time. I want more time to spend with my family. And I don't mean just doing something with them in the same room. . real quality time. . .sharing. . feeling. . making memories. Sometimes I see that we are in the room but we're not PRESENT. . there's a difference. I want to be present. I want my husband to be present.
A friend of mine in Arkansas gave me a plaque that reads "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Amen.
So what are my resolutions for this new year. . this year of new beginnings?
1. Obviously, lose weight. Get more exercise. I have not dealt with grief well and I have got to get back in shape so I'll feel better.
2. Review my "TO DO" list. I have a list of things I want to do or see in this life, and this year I'm doing at least one of them.
3. Read more. I have 5 books right now in my 'to read" bag. My mother says I have to read "The Robe" first. She must be right cuz every book I pick up, I can't read it for whatever reason. She says its 'cuz she knows I'm supposed to read that one next. I've put it off for 6 months now. Usually when that happens it's 'cuz my spirit knows it will be powerful, maybe life changing, and I just haven't been sure I could handle that right now with all the Mema stuff. But I'm gonna start it this weekend.
4. Turn off the TV. I did an experiment this past summer/fall where I jsut turned it off. It really does make a difference. We interact more, read more, play more, talk more.
5. Write more. I'm currently working on 3 books and I want to finish them. I have GOT to find time every day to write.
Those are just a few of the things I want to do. . didn't know when I sat down that I would make a new year's list . . usually not into that. . dont' want to set myself up to fail. . but I guess I need to this year.
So many things in my life are coming full circle. . . relationships being healed. . going back to places that were significant in my life. . reconnecting with people. . .
2009 is gonna be something else.